Today’s Grief

Grief looked different to me today. Usually I’m sad. I cry, I miss my little girl, I think about what could have been.

But today it looked different. Today I was cranky, moody, and impatient with others. I was tired, and didn’t feel well. Not sick, just not . . . well. I didn’t feel like getting dressed. I didn’t feel like helping people, or trying to make a difference.

Today, on my second Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day, my grief was ugly, and I didn’t even recognize it. It wasn’t inspirational, it was selfish.

That’s just how grief is sometimes.